In the job that I have it is common to move from task to task as the current contract wraps up and a new one begins. This means that every time I move to a new task, I essentially get a new ‘boss’ or in consultant-speak a new ‘task lead’. This is the person that will give me my tasks. This means that I will touch base with my real supervisor (called a Front Line Leader or FLL) from time to time. My FLL is a great person and I have worked with her for a while now, so she has a good idea of how I think and how I work. Lucky her.

Even though our company is 20,000 plus, we tend know all the same people. So it never fails, that when my FLL and I discuss my new task and I say I’ll be working with XX, she says ‘Oh, I know XX.” Then in my brain I imagine that as these two will get together and will eventually talk about me. (There is no reason for me NOT to believe that all conversations eventually come to me. So there.) This is how I imagine that conversation must have went:

XX: So I’m working with Amy, isn’t she on your team?

FL: Yeah. She’s nice.

{pause}

XX: What?

FLL: Nothing.

XX: Really, what?

FLL: Well, it’s just that Amy can be a bit different to work with.

XX: Different, how?

FLL; She lacks editing software

XX: What?!

FLL: You know, editing software, she just says whatever on her mind.

XX: Really?

FLL: Really. DEAR GOD KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE CLIENTS!

I do truly seem to lack the editing software. Tact is totally foreign to me. I don’t grasp the concept that you shouldn’t talk to everyone the same. Dude, I don’t care if you CEO or client, talk like a dumbass and I will tell you that you are being a DUMBASS.

Here is the best conversation I ever had with a client-

Client: Are you sure we should do it this way?

Amy: Yes, it will make the whole process easier.

Client: Would you lie to me?

Amy: Of course I would.

Client:: ….

Amy: But I am telling the truth about this being the best way to do this.

He thought it was the funniest thing I ever said. But he realized the truth of it. Of course, I am going to lie to you, but I tend to smile while I’m doing it, so that makes me a bad liar. It’s just easier for me if I be upfront with you. AT ALL TIMES. So if you think you  might like to recommend this blog to someone, you might want to have that conversation with them. Editing software NOT INCLUDED.