Yep, it’s Dad’s day and if you read this blog, you know I mention my mom quit a bit and my dad only a little bit. This isn’t a slight, it’s more of a courtesy. My dad doesn’t read my blog (and I am so totally OK with that, really. Cause I can just hear him now…“do you really have to use the f word”- right after he has a five minute tirade against liberals that include swear words I don’t even know yet) so I don’t feel right writing about him. But in honor of Father’s Day, I would like to list the things I learned from my Dad:

1- Never stop working- This guy never stopped working. When his 18 year career at the railroad ended due to an injury, he worked as a truck driver, and when his back hurt from doing that (from the aforementioned injury), he went back to school to sharpen his machinists skills. He finally retired from a machinist shop in Louisville earlier this year, but to be honest, I never thought he would retire. I learned this lesson well.

2- Be quiet until you can’t anymore- My dad’s pretty easy going, but he has a temper, and even at 37, I don’t mess around with that.

3- If you start something, go down swinging- If you start it, finish it- you may not win, but make sure the other guy looks just as bad.

4- Kids don’t live here after the age of 18- Honestly. I think I was 12 or 13 when I first heard the words “When you’re 18, you’re gone.” He said it in a joking manner, but over the intervening years, I knew, at 18 I would be responsible for myself. And I have been. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t gone back home, I moved back in with him twice in my twenties, but I KNEW beyond any shadow of a doubt, that it would be temporary. He never said that, but it was understood. I have started the same cycle with my children, recently breaking out the “When you’re 18….”

5- If its over, walk away- My dad has been married 5 times (Count ‘em- F-I-V-E). Something to be said for when it’s over, it’s over.

6- Be nice to your mom- When I lived with my dad, we would make the 1/2 hour trek from our home to his mom’s home to see her. We did this 2-4 times a week. We would take her out to eat (she wasn’t a very good cook, and neither was he). He was always there for her (his dad died of prostrate cancer when my dad was 15) and took her death hard. Is it any wonder that I’m a fan of my own mother?

7- Being an asshole gets you your way- Look not everything I learned from him is fit for a Hallmark moment.

8- No need to talk about it, just be mad until you aren’t and get along til you can’t- Wait, that’s for the list of things that piss me off about my dad.

So for all that, I guess I can forgive him for the things I inherited from him that I DON’T like. For instance, gritting my teeth (it’s horrible, I have woken myself up from the noise and grinding), addiction to news (well, I get this from BOTH sides, so screw you both on that one), the ability to argue loudly (CAUSE SHOUTING GETS YOUR POINT ACROSS, DOESN’T IT? I SAID DOESN’T IT?), and there is no other Hollywood star beside Clint Eastwood.

What about you?