My son has now discovered that it is socially acceptable for boys/men to walk around without a shirt. I am beyond annoyed. It’s disturbing to watch a guy walk around without a shirt.  Seriously.  That shit never gets tan, so you walk around like some human beacon with your pale, white skin and YOU CANNOT UNSEE SOME THINGS. Sprinkle some glitter on that and VOILA! you’re a gay, mormon vampire. I think I will pull the same thing on him that my mom used on my brother. This is one habit I don’t want my son to start.

My mom instructed and pleaded with my (then teenage) brother to wear a shirt. But he had as much nauseating confidence in his physique as that dbag from Jersey Shore, so he thought he was doing the world A FAVOR by showing us his one-hair wonder of  a chest. So my mother did what she did best, beat him at his own game. One day, my brother walked in the house again without his shirt on, and this conversation took place:

Mom: Didn’t I tell you to put a shirt on?

Rich: What’s the big deal? I’m not doing anything wrong…

Mom: You know what, Rich, you’re right. (Starts to take off her own shirt)

Rich: NO! NO! I’LL PUT ON A SHIRT

Well played Mom, well played.

My mother never had to have the “put on a shirt” conversation again.