In honor of ComicCon I think it’s time to honor the superhero in my life: Captain Obvious. He is the man that makes sure he says annoying things about stuff we already know, spouts wisdom on topics which we are already well versed, lets no cliche go unsaid, and, in general, just points out the the things right in front of our face. His talents are boundless.

Captain Obvious is everywhere. Take for instance this baking heat. One of the apps that I have on my Android is Weather Bug. Weather Bug has sent me so many heat advisory alerts that I feel that Captain Obvious must be working overtime. I KNOW IT’S HOT. Stop telling me it’s hot. I KNNOOOWWW. You do not need to tell me to stay inside and avoid staying outside too long. I KNNNOOWWWW. And if I didn’t know, the fact that my car tires are in danger of melting would TELL ME.

The ones who really need all the awesomeness that is Captain Obvious are the DUMBASSES that go out an run in this heat. He should swoop down in a cape (yes, of  course, the cape is a superhero cliche…he’s Captain Obvious! DUH!) and inform said stupid jogger that it is INDEED hot and he should not be running. And that he looks stupid jogging in lycra in 100 degree weather. Both OBVIOUS to everyone else.

One of Captain Obvious’ alter ego is the mild mannered office worker. A cubicle dweller who stops by your office/cubicle to carry out his superhero duties even in disguise. Here are few instances of Captain Obvious at work:

Me (busy, with 20 internet tabs open, email, IM)

Captain Obvious (CO): Hey, you look busy.

(Really, Captain Obvious, REALLY?! No, this is just an act. I got up early, came to this place, and set up all this sham ‘work’ JUST TO FOOL YOU).

Another gem:

(To understand this one you have to know that I rarely turn on the light in the coffee room. There is more than enough light coming in from the hallway and from the light over the sink.)

CO: It’s dark in here. (Flips on light.)

(Really, CO, REALLY? You HAVE to waste the energy of those 10 florescent lights to make ONE cup of coffee. What are you? BLIND?!)

So Captain Obvious, this post is for you. And since I have had so much fun writing about you, I think you will be a regular guest here on my blog. In fact, I’ll draw a picture of you and make you my little mascot.

Hey y’all Amy has a new mascot for her blog- CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! OK, I need ideas on what he should look like, c’mon you got to come through for me. I know you can do it.

But I leave you with Captain Obvious’ best line ever, heard just today at a restaurant:

“Do you want to start off with a drink?”

What clued you in? The funnel I brought in?!