What if…?

I hate the “What if…?” game, but I can’t help playing it. Especially this week. On Wednesday, for the first time since the divorce, I will hand over my children to my ex-husband. They will stay with him for a week and a half. I need this break desperately, they need time with their dad, plus I am traveling. But that hand over will cause me to have a full scale meltdown.

What if they like being with him better?

What if he says bad things about me (he won’t, he’s a good person, but the What if game isn’t about logic)?

What if they don’t want to come back?

How would I live without my children?

What if he’s a better parent?

What if they think that the person he’s living with is better mom?

What if she’s a better cook (not a stretch considering I hate to cook)?

What if….?

What if…?

Dear God, this is going be hard.

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  • http://creative.spayce.com pixielation

    Of course it's going to be hard, but the best thing to do is just do your own personal best, and be open and accessible to them. Don't be critical or judgemental about their father or his new partner to the kids, and let them know that you want what is best for them, even if it's painful for you.

    This advice doesn't come from personal experience mind you – so I don't really have anything to back it up with, but i feels like the right thing to do. I know every circumstance and relationship is unique, so you're the only person who can really say what is right for you.

  • Holly B

    Yes it will be hard and when they come back they will be all about what dad and she did for/with them… don't take it to heart. They're kids, and you're right. They do need him… but YOU'RE the mom – they always need mom. Who do they turn to to make it all better? Mom-thats who…. and that's you!

  • http://toywithme.com toywithme

    Some shit is never easy no matter how you slice it up. Just think though, when they get home they will be missing you sooooo much and have a ton of new and wonderful things to share. In the mean time, enjoy your down time, me time, I can do whatever I want time because I only have to work around my schedule. It may be weird the first day but I'm sure you'll find you throughly enjoy having time to yourself.

  • amydpp

    I am enjoying my downtime! I miss them, but not terribly yet….but when I talk to them I'm not sure they miss me enough yet. :(

  • amydpp

    I feel like I get to be the bad guy, cause at Dad's it all Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy and at Mom's it's all School Starting! I call no fair!

  • amydpp

    It's so hard not to ask them things about her…I fell like I'm prying being nosy, and part of me is, but I need to be proactive and make sure this person provides a safe environment. The high road sucks, yo.

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