1- Don’t write them like you just discovered all the cool things you can do with fonts. Make that noun green! Underline that one! Make that one red and italicaized! My daughter can write more professional emails than that.
2- Are you sure I care about your product? Cause you’re about 9 years too late since the last time I cared about breast pumps or sippy cups.
3- Are you tied in to a party I wasn’t invited to? Yeah, I’m a little resentful and jealous. Unless you’re handing out diamonds at your booth, I’m not coming.
4- Did you call me a Mommy Blogger in your email? Anytime I swear for five minutes after reading an email, it’s usually a sign that we are NOT going to hit it off professionally.
5- Does you message clash with mine? Well, OK, technically EVERYONE’S message clashes with mine. I’m like the plaid of blogger messages. You can’t ever find anything that goes with it. But still.
My point is, don’t spam me- TARGET me. And if I’m not in your target, it’s perfectly OK not to send me an email. We aren’t going to connect no matter what you do.
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Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t care what’s in your email. I plan to spend all my time at the bar anyway.
