How much to Eat, Pray, and Love?

I won’t be going to see the new Julia Robert’s movie Eat, Pray, Love. In fact, every time a trailer comes on for it on the TV, it’s all I can do not to run screaming from the house.

If you don’t know the story, the movie is based on a book which is based on a trip that overindulged white woman had to take to find herself. Read that sentence again, because I mean EVERY WORD.

I get it. A middle aged woman has lost her ‘gusto’ for life. She was going through a nasty divorce, and perhaps even lost her country home. Believe me, I know how traumatizing losing a country home can be. So she decides to…wait for it…take a year off. Wow, why didn’t I think of that?! Yes, she takes a year off and goes to Italy, India and Bali. She is going to how to learn how to eat, pray, and love. And then- THEN- she is going to come back to the US and write a book about it, so that we can all experience her self-indulged year-long temper tantrum. Seriously.

First, let’s be practical. This trip cost her well over $100,000. AT LEAST. That doesn’t include the lost wages and opportunities. Do you have that kind of money? Neither do I. And if I did, I wouldn’t waste it on a trip to commune with elephants for a year. My kids need to go to college, yo.

But never fear, she is going to get her money back. And then some. Who’s going to give it to her? All of us who fawn over her and soak up her bits of wisdom as if she is the second coming of Ghandi. We are going to buy her book (cha-ching), her perfume (cha-ching), buy her trip-inspired merchandise on HSN (CHA-CHING, BABY!). We will be the poorer, she the richer and will you have learned something profound from it all?

No.

I mean it, you won’t.

Let’s imagine for a moment that you could take this wonderful trip- that you could pause your home, career, kids (don’t forget this woman does not have kids. And she needs to get away from stress? That lady does not know stress.) and go to where ever you need to go to ‘find’ yourself.

A couple of things will become apparent:

1) Ms. Gilbert’s realizations will not be your realizations. Yours would be different. Therefore to read about hers are meaningless.

2) The world will move on without you. Your friends will go away, you job will go away, and all will be unforgiving about your need for discovery.

3) Your book will suck and no one will buy it.

4) You will not look like Julia Roberts or meet someone like Javier Bardem.

Save your money and your time. You don’t need to go to India or Bali or Italy to find your zest for life. You don’t need to buy the book, the perfume, the clothes to get in touch with your inner self. Trust me.

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  • http://twitter.com/guavalicious guavalicious

    haha! I’ve never read the book and slapped my husband when we saw the preview and he said “that looks like a movie you would like”. Ew, just ew. If I could meet Javier Bardem, however…

  • Ashbabe25

    HA!! Amy, you Rock and I absolutely LOVE your honesty!

  • http://ActiveEggplant.com ActiveEggplant

    Well said! I’ve been wondering what the big deal about this book/movie was – I had no desire to read/watch it before & I must say that I’m even LESS inclined to do so now!

  • Nancyhoward_1999

    I’m going to get off the train wearing my EAT PRAY LOVE t – shirt all pink and subtle colors . And of course my pants will be those flowing type. And oh yeah, I’ll have on make up.

    gag me

  • Jen

    Not my journey, not my movie, not really interested. Read the book for 5 min, was incredibly bored. Maybe it’s me, but Gilbert sounds like a whiner. Can’t stand whiners, especially over-indulged white ladies. However, my compadre Javier Bardem, I’ll take him anytime.

  • Jana @ Anattitudeadjustment

    I think you’ve pretty much captured why I don’t want to read this book. First, it gets a lot of hype, and when something gets too much hype, I shy away. It also just sounds so darn romantic, traveling to all these countries alone, eating, drinking, meditating. But I think your word above, “overindulged,” is pretty much right on the money. (Don’t pardon my pun!)

  • http://blog.lindsaymaddox.com Lindsay Maddox

    Ah! You read my mind! Getouttathere.

    I couldn’t agree more. It’s funny, just yesterday, a friend of mine turned to me and said, “Eat, Pray, Love, how excited are you?! Want to go see it together?”

    She looked like I had just strangled a small kitten when I said, “I have NO desire to watch that whiny movie. I’m so sick of whiny women trying to ‘find’ themselves.”

  • http://twitter.com/rockdrool Melissa

    i hated the book. i couldn’t get past italy. she annoyed me.
    i love julia roberts. i may see the movie because i haven’t see her on the big screen in years. but the story? ugh.

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  • http://midwesternmamah.blogspot.com/ Holly B

    I kept reading about all the “weight Julia gained” making this movie… when I found out what the BIG amount was, I wanted to throat punch a handicapped kid. She gained 10 freaking pounds…… TEN! Yeah now she can join the fatass club with me. Bite me Julia – you porker.

  • Anonymous

    Ooooohhh, ten pounds. Well break out the Celebrity Fit Club for Julia y’all. Honestly, WTH?

  • Anonymous

    I also like Julia Roberts, but nothing could convince me to see this movie. If you do go, let me know how it is, OK?

  • Anonymous

    Strangled a small kitten, classic. But you’re right about the whiny women, ugh. Just want to slap them upside the head and tell them to ‘get it together, already.’

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, I’m guessing the part where she spends a good part of her trip in the bathroom from eating or drinking the wrong things gets left out of the book/ movie. Just saying.

  • Anonymous

    Agree, on everything. Especially the Javier part.

  • Anonymous

    You do it, and I’ll take pictures and blackmail you. cause I’m am awesome daughter like that.

  • Anonymous

    I think that’s we get along so well, Ash, my dear!

  • Anonymous

    Just one of the services I supply. Your welcome. :)

  • Anonymous

    So the next time Lindsay Lohan comes on TV, you can say “that looks like a skank you’d like”. Ha, I kid, I kid.

  • http://twitter.com/subWOW I’m not Rosie!

    I did not read the book. I learned of the premise and vomited in my mouth. Overindulged white woman. That’s exactly what came to mind. Don’t forget “upper middle class” as another signifier. But I guess “overindulged” sort of implied that already. You rock for writing this!!! My hat’s off to you as I imagine quite a few people you know belong to the fan club? You have my moral support and Domo is watching over your spirits!

  • http://twitter.com/maggielmcg maggielmcg

    If you didn’t already hate her/the book enough, here’s more fodder: the trips and year off were paid for by her publisher. Oh, and my personal favorite–apparently at a speaking engagement for her new book she totally dismissed the meditation thing, saying she doesn’t do it anymore.

    Needless to say I won’t be seeing the movie and I have to turn off the TV every time the freakin commercial is on. AND Julia Roberts is so horribly mis-cast in this that it kills me.

  • http://twitter.com/Amy_R Amy

    I literally did not make it through the first chapter. And I didn’t buy the book, it was given to me, as I wouldn’t have spent money on it in the first place. I have enough drama in my own life, who wants to read about as you definitely say an overindulged white woman spending a year on vacation in exotic locals. Thanks but no thanks. Also, it’s hard being in a group of people who LOVED the book and are SOOO excited about going to the movie. I think I’ve picked the wrong book club!

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  • Jodifur

    The book made me want to rip my eyeballs from my head and throw it against a wall she was so self indulged and whiny.

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  • http://www.magpiemusing.com magpie

    I haven’t read it, nor will I, nor will I see the movie, because of you and so many others who have written about it. I so don’t need that in my life.

  • http://www.lindsayblogs.com Lindsay

    I came over here from a link on Silly Mom Thoughts and I am loving this vibe you and Lindsay have going. I’ve never read the book. I don’t really care to see the movie (if I do, great, if I don’t, whatever) so this whole phenomenon is really beyond me. However, the idea that we need to leave our lives behind in order to enjoy life…doesn’t make any sense to me. I mean, it’s great that this lady got to travel the world, but the rest of us? In real life? Never going to happen. Real people can’t afford that kind of luxury and, you’re right…there are better things to spend that money on. You know what would have made her life REALLY meaningful and inspiring? If she’d taken that $100,000 and put it towards charity. Really helped someone with it. Do you know how many people could have been FED with that money? The worthless squandering of huge sums of money in this country is just sickening really.

  • Beeka-beeka

    Can you say, “Under the Tuscan Sun”?

  • http://www.bugginword.com BugginWord

    Well I’m going to be a trouble maker and say I liked the book. I mean, I didn’t love it or flip cartwheels or anything, but there were definitely parts I enjoyed. I was much happier after Italy, but even still…I don’t regret reading it my any means. And I’ll probably even watch the movie some day while I’m working on some mindless project and they’re playing it on Lifetime or something.

    Also, I would love for Julia Roberts to play me in a movie. But she’s going to have to gain WAY more than 10 lbs for that.

  • Anonymous

    Domo rules all! I was surprised at all the people who came by to say to ‘Right On’. Makes me think the movie not do so well, hmmm?

  • Anonymous

    We need to start a ‘Hard Core’ book club. :)

  • Anonymous

    I did not know that, and, yes now I hate it even more. Ugh.

  • Anonymous

    Glad we could help. :D

  • Anonymous

    I like that description, I will use it next time someone asks me what I think about the book. The mental image I get makes me smile.

  • Anonymous

    Didn’t read that either.

  • Anonymous

    Exactly! I’m surprised that with the recession, its getting as much buzz as it has- so many people have to people going “REALLY?!”

  • Anonymous

    I’m glad that you came by and said “Hey, I like it.” I love it when we get to beat up on a commentator….I mean have balance in our discussions. I get the appeal, I do- but…no, just…no.

  • http://twitter.com/amysflowerz Amy Jackson

    Thank you for his review. I am so happy to know I’m not alone, in my feelings of revulsion over this book and movie.

  • http://twitter.com/definitelydeb Debbie Bray

    I enjoyed the book. But only because I am a dreamer and LOVE to travel. Yes, she is self indulgent, and a whiner; I was not completely oblivious to these things. Maybe I liked it because there is a part of me that WISHES life was like that… that we could have DO OVERS… Fortunately, I was raised to be a responsible adult.

    I will probably see the movie at some point – like on NetFlix, or on Lifetime Television. I won’t contribute any more of my hard earned money to Ms. Gilbert’s folly.

  • Anonymous

    I think I hit a nerve with this post, I was also VERY happy to see I wasn’t alone.

  • Anonymous

    You’re the second person who’s said she will wait to see it on Lifetime. Which makes me wonder, how did this crap end up in the theaters anyway.

    And I’m with you on the Do over. The universe owes me at least one, I figure.

  • http://twitter.com/definitelydeb Debbie Bray

    It’s interesting, isn’t it? I think a LOT of crap ends up in theaters. And we, as consumers, encourage them to keep churning it out by continuing to go and see their drivel. I am by no means poor, but I have to REALLY want to see a flick on the big screen BADLY before I’ll spend the (what is it now?) $9.00 to GO OUT to see a movie. Whoa. Soap box. Sorry! I guess I feel strongly about this. haha!

    And just ONE do-over? I feel like I am owed THREE. (at the very least) ;)

  • Ferrell-102

    Wow you’re so negative…live a little and enjoy life.

  • Anonymous

    you say negative, I say honest.

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