I can be a clicking fool…I click on links and end up on some site that has NO resemblance of my initial click. Often, these clicking sprees end up on forums or message boards. I say it ends here, because once I read a couple of messages from society’s best and brightest, I have to turn off the computer for fear of scarring my mind FOREVER.

Here is some gem that I simply couldn’t pass up:

This works in ANY WAL-MART IN THE UNITED STATES or ASDA in the U.K…. .The SECRET CODE that most wifes look for looking for action is A MAN WEARING A RED BALL-CAP or A RED RAG or SCARF IN BACK POCKET. Most wifes are on the PROWL between 9 am and 11 am when kids in school and hubby at work or after 8PM when kids in bed. Hang around the toilet, womens department or Dressing rooms…. do NOT go into the change rooms unless INVITED by a wife,this occurs often….The RED COLOR signals you are READY ,WILLING AND ABLE.Just a nod and a wink and your ready to hook up! Do it every day for a week and YOU WILL GET LUCKY! WORKS in ALL WAL-MARTS.MOST lonely wifes around the U.S. and U.K know the red ball-cap signal or red scarf secret signal.

Wowsa…All this time I DIDN’T KNOW! But, dammit, now I’m all single and stuff. IF ONLY I’D KNOWN!!!

So let me get this straight, they will give you a secret signal, (and, of course, you must pay careful attention), then the wives will remove all their clothing and fling themselves at you? Naturally, this is a special secret signal, and you must watch for it very carefully.

Wal-Mart will never be the same for me.

But really.

There is SO MUCH wrong with this. First of all, an ASDA? ASDA’s are tiny. You can’t get anything done there. On the prowl, seriously? When my kids aren’t around, I’m not ON THE PROWL. Check that, I AM on the prowl- for a Cosmo and a pedicure. And let’s just say that I was hard up- why would I do it in a toilet?  The imagery alone makes me want to take a vow of chastity.

A nod and a wink? Woo, THAT’S original. Also? The warning NOT TO GO into the dressing room unless invited? I say try it. See where it gets you. I mean you’re ALREADY trolling for sex at the Wal-Mart. Life isn’t going much lower for you. Why not tack on an arrest?

But the real question that I want to know is, if a man wears a read ball cap and there is not Wal-Mart (or ASDA) around- does the ‘lonely’ wife feel a desire? A desire to shop for polyester shirts?