I don’t know where she came from, really, I don’t. I meet a ton of people all the time, I can’t keep track of them all. It’s not uncommon for me to get an @ on twitter that says

Hey @amydpp great to meet you at xxxxx! Let’s talk soon!

Look, I don’t want to dampen their enthusium so I always say-

You too! Let’s def talk!

Which invariably is the end of the transaction. So when I got this tweet one day, I didn’t think anything of it:

Hey, I want to be your intern

I laughed, hard. All I could think is “Oh man, does she have me mixed up with someone one else.” I mean, I don’t own a company or anything. It’s not like I have some star she could hitch to, honestly. I tweeted something back non-committal and vague. She would come to her senses soon and realize this is a case of mistaken identiy, and, boy, would she be embarrassed.

But she didn’t. She REALLY wanted to be my intern. I felt so bad for her. I tried to nicely tell her that I wasn’t who she thought I was. I wasn’t some internet superstar, startup founder, or even social media maven. I’m just a blogger and social media junkie. But she didn’t GET IT. This was getting weird, y’all.

And that’s when it got good.

Clearly, she had too much time on her hands. So, I thought, what the hell? Let’s see how long before she catches on. About that time, I was approaching 1,000 followers. A milestone for me (Why, you ask? Because I almost never follow people first, they always follow me first. Reaching 1,000 meant I had attracted 1,000 people.) Anyhoo, this ‘intern’ was going to help me. And SHE DID! Here’s her tweet:

Good morning! Pls follow @amydpp  today so we can get her to 1000 followers & she’ll make me her intern! I promise she’s funny.

The winking emoticon at the end made me think she had finally cottoned on to my non-superstar status, but hey, I reached my 1,000. A win for me. Plus, I knew  this delusion couldn’t last forever. How wrong I was. When I was lamenting about money, she offered to dress to up in a Domo costume and sing karaoke for money. Cause that’s what interns do. I pretty sure she was joking about that one, but the offer was touching.

Well, now it was GAME ON. Want to be an intern? Fine. Know what interns do? They watch my dog while I’m gone. That’s what they do. And she did. Really. She rearranged her schedule and life so she could be home when I showed up with my lovable black lab. The first time we ever met, and I was rushed, sweaty, and emotional from dropping my kids off to their father for the first time. I dumped him, his cage, bed, dog food off and ran home to pack for two weeks of traveling. I was hoping against hope that this woman would love my Oreo like I do. And she did. She kept me updated on his antics, walked him, spoiled him, and even asked to keep him (jokingly, I’m sure).

Let’s imagine this for a moment. A woman who you’ve never met, drives up, gives you a sweaty hug, and gives you her dog. Can we say awkward?? I didn’t have time to care about its awkwardness. I was on A SCHEDULE, people.

Then came the time to pick up the dog. I picked up my kids at the same time, and my ex was being an ass. I was texting her to let her know what kind of situation she was walking into, and what did she do? Did she say “I’ll wait until he leaves.” or “We’ll just drop Oreo off and leave.” Nope, she offered to fart on him (my ex, not the dog). True story. Also? True love.

Sara and I are kind of opposites. She is that young, childless, hip professional that makes DC a place of incredible energy. I am stressed out single parent rapidly approaching 40. Also, she has a cross on her wall in her apartment. I was lucky my skin didn’t start burning when I saw that. Nonetheless, we will make it work.

So, I have an intern. And it just so happens that I actually NEED one now. With my business up and running and, this project and this project, and two more in the pipeline. I REALLY need someone to work for free an intern. She may have meant this as a joke,  or a fun tweet adventure, or even possibly a real case of mistaken identity. Too damn bad.  Consider yourself hired, Sara.

Now for your next task…how are you with babysitting?

Also? Thank you.

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 Social Pollen, LLC