Life is busy, and I’m easily distracted by bright shiny objects. Remember that dog from Up, who couldn’t complete a sentence with sensing a squirrel. That’s me, trying to write ANYTHING. And, of course, everything stops while I chase said squirrel.

(I just answered four tweets during the line break).

I have been trying to expand my writing by doing some ACTUAL writing. For respected publications and stuff. (Note: editors do not like it when you end a sentence with ‘and stuff’). I expected it to be a piece of cake. I mean you all come and read and I don’t hear any complaints from you. And not just because you know I would slap the taste out of your mouth if you actually tried to complain. Nope, it’s love. I can feeeeeeeell it.

(I just watched an episode of Burn Notice during that line break).

Turns out, I am not a good writer. Apparently there is a difference between writing a blog and writing for a publication. Even for the web portion of the publication. And on top of that, they have the NERVE to demand deadlines. I KNOW, who ARE these people, right? Don’t even get me started on the ‘you have to write in AP style’ crap. Nightmare, utter nightmare.

What am I doing wrong? I have no earthly idea. That’s not true, they are being super nice and trying to ‘develop’ my writing style. Mildly related: Develop has an alternate meaning- Putting up with your shit until you get it together.

Who knew I was such a bad writer? And so boring?

Stay tuned. Now to distract from my awful writing, here’s a picture of my kitten.

SQUIRREL!

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