Who Says?

I’ve never been one to play by other people’s rules. In fact, I suck at following arbitrary rules that seemed to be based in no sense of logic. You know…the rules that indicate the rationale behind them is “because I said so” Yeah, those.

Why do I bring this up?

Funny you should ask.

There are actually two reasons, but I’m refraining from writing about them in detail to see if I get an apology from both people involved. But here is a rough sketch;

I have been increasingly involved in the Baltimore Tech scene. A scene dominated by twenty-something hipsters whose version of life experience is a pub crawl in the ‘bad’ part of Baltimore. Nonetheless, there are many great people who have their head down doing real work, making real progress. It will come as no surprise that I don’t get along with some of those people either, but I respect them and what they do, so we are professional to each other and work together. LIKE ADULTS DO. Anyway, I heard that organization was coming up from DC and I wanted to guage the reaction, so I posted in the FaceBook group about the date and event.

Then it got good.

I received an email from the founder’s that went something like this;

We saw your post on the {redacted} Community Facebook page – very confused about your message as 1) we gave you that info in confidence and 2) it was not very supportive – so it’s not clear why you want to work with us?

Oh my, oh my, oh MY GOD. Want to see my reply? Well, here’s a taste;

I just went back over the original email and didn’t see anything that indicated it was confidential. Maybe it was implied?

…I don’t have any illusions that stuff I post on the internet won’t ‘get around’ or ‘get back to someone’. And the post was a genuine effort to gauge feedback, which I got.

Your email almost makes it seem as if I owe an explanation to you or that I was being sneaky or underhanded. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because I certainly want to work together, not against each other

Still waiting for her to get back to me on THAT score. Jesus, people. (Again, keeping names out for the time being).

The next happened in same group, but, again, I am waiting before I write about that. All I will say that in group that has 133 members only 17 are women. ONLY 17.

And of course, people dismiss me. They don’t know me personally, don’t know what I do, and who I know. Here’s some free advice: In the social media world, never dismiss person as unimportant until you know how far their reach goes. And if you don’t know what I mean by reach, well, you’re probably not in social media.

(I’m not saying “look at me, I’m so important”, in fact, if asked I would say the opposite. Success in the Baltimore Tech Community does not hinge on whether or not I’m placated, truly, I know that.)

I am beside myself. Of course, I have been labeled “The Bitch”, “Troublemaker” and other not so very nice words.

I shall try not to cry over how very upset I am. Wait….I think I’m over it….yep, I’m good now.

Bottom Line: Got some arbitrary rules you want me to follow? Yeah, good luck with that. Sincerely, The Bitch.

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  • http://twitter.com/SanDiegoMomma San Diego Momma

    That first message? Confrontational and defensive. Your reply? Professional and genuine.

    And I’m kinda skeeved out by the usage of the term “We saw…”

    “We?” Very big brotherly.

  • Anonymous

    I think we were both kind of confrontational. But I think they were expecting some sort of apology. Silly people.

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