I do. I really care. My mind cannot not even wrap itself around the amount of death and destruction that the Japanese people are facing. Their sorrow is felt the world over. I want to walk up to each person and hug them and tell them it will be OK. I want to comfort every grieving parent, adopt every parent-less child, take in every furry creature without home.

I want to, but I can’t and I won’t.

Know what else I won’t do? Give them money.

It’s our first response as Americans. GIVE THEM MONEY!! Give, give, give. Tasteless fame-addicted stars organize benefits to ‘help‘ the stricken, phone companies allow us to ‘donate‘ money through texting. It’s human nature to want to help, and purely American to think that our money will provide that help.

But it won’t. Let me say that again. MONEY WON’T HELP JAPAN. Money is not what they need. Seem callous? Let me list the ways it won’t help;

1) Japan has the money to help its citizens. Money, at the moment, is not the issue.

2) Japanese people need shelter, food, and basic care. To get those things to the people that need it most you need good logistics- the one thing missing after a disaster. Roads are gone or unusable, trucks missing, personnel to administer the help gone or caught in the midst of their own tragedy, airports shut down, electrical infrastructure gone or not working, communications nearly impossible. Money will not solve any of these problems. Know what will? Time. Time to figure how to get people on the trucks to drive an alternate route to clean the runways and repair the electrical lines. The Japanese are smart, it won’t take them long to clear their obstacles and solve their issues. Money will not speed up or slow down this process.

3) Even if you do give money, very (VERY) little of it will be used to help the Japanese. Remember the all the donations that the Red Cross got after 9/11? Remember what they spent it on? Telephones. Yep, a brand new multi-million dollar telephone system. I’ve heard reports that to anywhere from $0.12 to $0.60 goes to actual, ‘at the scene’ help. The rest disappears into overhead, advertising, and so on. And even if you give money to the Red Cross now, that 12 cents or 60 cents very likely won’t be used in Japan. And that’s just the Red Cross, this story is repeated with other charities as well. Don’t even get me started on the fraud charities that have started to pop up.

4) Money now seems to equal an “I did my part” or “I already gave” attitude later on, when Japan really needs help. In an era where headlines don’t last longer than one day, and at most, one week (Libya and Wisconsin anyone??) Japan faces a task that will take years. Right now, let those in charge help. Later on, check in to see where you might be able to help.

I know it’s tempting. You see a man on the news who has lost everything. You want to give him his life back. Your money won’t do that. I wish it would, I wish money would solve problems – but I think we all know that it doesn’t.

However, I do want to help. Like you do. Here is what I’m doing.

1) One thing Japan DOES need is very specialized help. And by specialized I mean things such as cadaver dogs, burial services, contracting help to rebuild, temporary workers to for schools and hospitals, and so on. I’m not able to do any of these things, so I am on the lookout for small groups of people who have been asked (or cleared) by the government to go and help in Japan for a time. When giving to these groups I check to make sure that they have a detailed plan, bios for their members, open and honest accounting practices, and contacts within the State Department or Japanese government (local or national) who they are working with to ensure that their help goes where it is most needed. Often these small bands of workers will collect money before and during their assignment. They get it all, they keep it all, they use it all – for Japan.

2) I’m waiting. Japan may not need money right now, but that could change. In 6 months I will re-evaluate my stance. By that time, international charities should have a clear and concise plan for how the money I’m going to donate will be used. If they are still murky in that area, I won’t be giving then either.

3) Hug my children. Because so many families in Japan will no longer have that option.

It’s not that I don’t care. I do. I just know that caring and donating are two separate things.