3 days. That’s how long my daughter is suspended for, but that’s not where this story starts. It starts with Friday morning buzz. First story I hear about is the Bob Parsons killing an elephant. The internet is up in arms. Of course they are. However, while the video is in poor taste, there are valid reasons to have that elephant hunt. I know it’s going to be one of those kind of days, the STUPID SIREN is already going off. Get a grip, people.

Next up is crazy person. Some woman who’ve I NEVER met insists I’m trying to exact a date out of her husband over twitter. Of course I tweet about it,, then I get another note from crazy woman saying ‘it’s a private correspondence’ and I have no right. YOU SENT A STRANGER A DERANGED EMAIL. Obviously, this is not your first trip to crazy town lady. And for the record, if offering to have a beer with someone means I’m trying to exact (and I don’t like the usage of exact here, even though it had the requisite object -still strange usage. Yes, I know, foray into grammar…complete nerd) a date, then I must be the biggest whore in Baltimore. And if I’m the biggest whore in Baltimore I want a) a damn prize b) more sex, cause I’m pretty sure whores get more sex than I’m getting.

My day could get no worse. Except it did.

–Cue office phone–

“Can I talk to Mrs. Phillips?”

“This is Mrs. Phillips.”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Phillips, this is Mr. X from the Middle School. I have your daughter here in the office with me. She was involved in an incident with another student. She…uhh…hit another girl. We are suspending her for 3 days.’

::headdesk:

Remember that post where I gave my daughter tacit permission to take down that bully. Yeah, well, this girl wasn’t the bully. It was a girl that ran with the bully. After they laughed at her when her pads feel out of her bag in gym class, de-pants’ed her and other stuff there was a very mature back and forth (apparently, remember I’m hearing this 3rd hand)

Daughter: Stop it

Girl: Why don’t you smack me?

Daughter: Think I’m going to smack with you the teachers around?

After gym class, my daughter (my beautiful daughter who I remember in pigtails and pink dresses) chased her down and smacked her upside the head. Girl cries, someone tells the vice-principal, mom gets called. End of story.

Then my day got AWESOME.

Why?

I charged to that school ready to make sure that they knew how I felt about the incident and the alleged ‘victim’. Except I didn’t have to, because everyone knew all about it. We had a reasonable conversation where I stated my side, how I felt about the incident, and about my conversation with my daughter about bullying. Mr. X had no censure for me or for my daughter. He didn’t agree or lift the suspension (I didn’t expect him to, he had a job to do and I respect him for that) but he understood my side. I left there feeling that the other girls would be taken care of appropriately.

3 days. Home with my daughter.

God save us all.