Recently, I was invited to come in to an interview for an leadership position at a hosting company. I get headhunters, feelers, inquiries all the time from various sources and I rarely turn down a chance to interview. Not because I am unhappy with my job – I’m not (and I write those words on a day when the stupid in my email box is at an all-time high), but because I like to see what’s out there. I never know what opportunity awaits me, so when someone taps me to come in and interview for a SharePoint or Social Media Position, I often go. It rarely goes beyond the interview stage, usually because their pay is so low (hello! 38-year-old mid-career don’t insult me with your awesome ‘compensation’) or because I am a jerk. Yep, sometimes I go into the interview and am a complete jerk. I don’t mean to be, but the other person across from me is so mind-blowingly stupid/douchey/ clueless that I can’t help it. They make it TOO EASY.

Such was my interview on Monday.

It didn’t start out that way. I had already been through 3 very nice, very productive phone interviews with the headhunters, sent in a resume that had a great cover letter (and I quote “should I tell you how awesome I am?”) and looked forward to having a productive conversation with the person running the company sometime in the future.

Then came the last phone call with the recruiter. He was unsure, cagey, and on edge about a process he had been confident about only two days before. I smelled trouble. EVERY instinct told me to cancel, to stop, to back out. But, damn, if I’m not stubborn. I went to that interview.

First let me set the scene for you. I don’t even get out my corporate clothes to wear, opting instead for regular office wear. And make-up? Not happening. I drive out to the MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOWHERE (which is kind of hard to do in Maryland, I admit) and get ready to make nice. The recruiter that I have been working with meets me at the door, and like our phone conversations he is nice, polite, and cordial. OK, maybe I was wrong, maybe things WILL go alright.

Then the interview.

First, let me say that I am interviewing with the guy who heads the company and he is from France. The recruiter in the course of conversation about the company touted a line from the man that I am about to interview with, some company philosophy that went “I have one Aston Martin I don’t need another.”

Douche siren is starting to blare.

I sit down with the CEO and he starts to go into how he’s sorry the office is the middle of nowhere, but his company rents ‘racks’ (servers) in downtown Baltimore. So let me get this straight, you have your ‘hub’ in some BFE office but your machines in the downtown? That’s, um, not right. The tech scene in Baltimore is centered around one or two locations and this sad one-story brick office park? Not one of those places.

Remember, I have been brought in to ‘social media’ this brand. Already, it’s looking like a tough job.

BUT HE KEEPS TALKING AND TALKING. Dude, STFU. We have an interview to do. Then I make a serious mistake. I ask a question about a recent event that effects his company services. Not only does he give the WRONG answer, he takes FIFTEEN MINUTES TO DO IT.

FINALLY. FINALLY! We start to talk about the job. Look, I know if you don’t work in Social Media you think it’s all fun and games. It’s not. You have to have the ability to process a TON of information, filter it, analyze it and do this all while engaging anyone and everyone in your purview. It’s a fire hose that NEVER SHUTS OFF. Nevertheless, I know what I’m doing. I’ve consulted and helped some pretty large companies in this arena, underestimating me would not be wise. (This is not to blow my own horn, but to set up what is about to happen).

I start in with his website. I’ve looked at it, it’s very pretty- just not very usable. Well, he wants to engage ‘the geeks’ (he says this like TEN TIMES!). I nod my head, but all I can think is ‘true geeks run their own racks, they don’t need yours.’ He doesn’t want to engage the ‘average’ user. OK, then. Good luck with that.

We move on twitter. I say “Twitter account is not very active.” That is a nice way of saying your engagement is shit. He says “Our English one, our French one and my personal one are VERY active.” WTF? No one, I repeat NO ONE cares about a twitter account in French, and your account? Less followers than me, less tweets than me, less Klout than me (and that’s my personal one) so tell me again how active they are? Yeah. That’s what I thought.

Finally on to my specialty- content. People, if you’re reading this, you know that I produce a TON of content, I consult on content, I live and breathe content. It’s what I do. I start with outlining my plan to bring on a content team to write content. He stops me and says the following statements “We don’t pay for advertising” and “I am looking for someone to be an entrepreneur” (Actually, he gives me this entrepreneur line like FIFTY times. And let me just say, a Frenchman saying ‘entrepreneur’? Douche or not, still VERY sexy. I’m all about finding the silver lining). I try to gently tell him good content isn’t about whether I am an ‘entrepreneur’ or not, it’s about engaging a customer base and developing a following. The worst company blogs? Written exclusively by CEO’s or marketing people. EVERY time. Also, paying people to write content is not ‘paying for advertising’. That is called ‘writing copy’ and completely different. The depth of his cluelessness is starting to hit home.

Me: “You’re telling me that I can’t bring in an editorial team? Then, no.”

Him: “That’s it, then. Thanks for coming out.”

FREEDOM! So happy to get out of that place, I couldn’t leave fast enough. But he had one parting gift for me and it was this line “Well, I’m sure we will see each other around since we will be out at the tech events in Baltimore.”

I want to say “Not bloody likely”; but I hold my tongue. This silly man will fit perfectly into the male-dominated, misogynist, douchelicpter scene that is Baltimore tech. DC will eat him up and spit him out.

The social media scene in the DMV is small in the sense that most people know (or at least know of) each other. By early evening the DMs were flying from one person to the other. Can I just say, my impression seemed to be the prevailing opinion?

But don’t fret for our French CEO. He will find his ‘entrepreneur’ and all will be well in his world. Hell, he might even buy another Aston-Martin.

Me? I’m going to have a stern talk with myself. I really need to start listening to my instinct.