I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the universe seems to be screwing with me lately. It’s like I get through one thing and then it’s all NOT SO FAST, here’s something else to make your life hell. Did I piss of the God of Order and Normal or something, because if I did – dude, whatever you want, it’s yours.

And today……

I have had one hell of an evening last night….I mean just…..where you kind of get to a point and all you can do is looks at the heaven’s and think…REALLY?!

I have had about 3-4 hours of sleep, if you count the texting I did at 4 in the morning, and I don’t. Mainly because someone who I trusted to get their SHIT TOGETHER, well, DIDN’T. And at two in the morning, I did something I rarely EVER do – walked away. But that’s not even my rant, it SHOULD be, but no I have something EVEN better.

Right, where was I? Ah yes, jackassery and no sleep. Got it. Right so I get up this morning and get the kids out the door, thinking ‘OK, no sleep, but I can do this.” THEN IT STARTS!!

My daughter gets in the car, I put the car in reverse and get ready to pull out..

“WAIT!”

I stop and look at her….she forgot a school assignment. *sigh* OK, runs back into the house and gets it. Well, ‘runs’ is being generous…more like saunters. Whatever.

Back in the car, pulling out of our neighborhood, I casually turn to her and say “Did you take your medicine?”

Deer in the headlights look. Forehead on steering wheel. OK, turn around and let her saunter back into the house to take her medicine.

NOW, finally we are on the road.

As I am getting ready to get on the expressway she springs this on me;

Chey: “Mom, I need money. I have a field trip today.”

Me: “WHAT?! Today?!” Why didn’t you tell me?”

Chey: “I forgot.”

Me: “OK, fine, I have money, no problem.”

Chey: “You need to sign this form, too”

Me: {stopped at a red light} “OK, give it to me.” I start to sign and I notice a whole bunch of questions about physical activity limitations. I turn back to the front page and sure enough this activity is some physical team building activity. I look over at my daughter in her tartan skirt, embroidered white shirt, knee high socks and think “NO FUCKING WAY”. I turn back to the front page again and read it even closer and there it is in the second paragraph. “Students need to wear their PE uniforms for this trip.”

OF COURSE THEY DO.

I lose it. I am trying hard not to yell at my daughter, even though she has had the form for a WEEK. I mean, stuff happens, and I’m not the most organized, so I cut her some slack. I turn around so she can change. I get within a mile of home when the last terrible realization of the morning hits me.

Me: “Cheyenne, let me see that form again.”

{Hands it to me and sure enough right there was the thing that I had skipped over, twice}

Me: “Cheyenne, your field trip is tomorrow.”