40

There must glorious things to turning 40, but I have yet to find them. Of course, I have only been 40 for one day, so granted 40 hasn’t had been given a proper chance to impress me. But I felt the need to make sure that 40 knew what I expected of them, so I helped 40 out by defining clear things I would like to do while it decided to stick around.

  1. Wear more wigs, because…why not?
  2. Attend more concerts – yes, this requires being amongst other ‘humans’.
  3. Don’t take sharp objects to said concerts
  4. Dress up more often. Yes, put on a fancy dress and go out and dance.
  5. Learn to dance.
  6. Pierce more things.
  7. Get some tattoos
  8. Elevate pain tolerance.
  9. Volunteer for political causes.
  10. Don’t take sharp objects to said volunteer events.
  11. Get Cheyenne through high school, and out of the house.
  12. Get Trace through high school, and out of the house.
  13. Leave house, move to the city, get one room apartment, make kids stay in hotel when they visit.
  14. Attend an opera.
  15. A good opera.
  16. Start traveling again.
  17. Lose weight for passport photo.
  18. Finish writing my book.
  19. Find creative muse.
  20. Sleep with muse.
  21. Break up with muse, drink heavily.
  22. Repeat steps 19-22, ad infinitum.
  23. Learn to speak Spanish.
  24. Run marathon
  25. Stop drinking and decide on half marathon
  26. Pose for pin-up photo.
  27. Count number 26 as volunteer effort, since depriving the world of this rack is a travesty.
  28. Have less animals in the house.
  29. Take in new kitty because he needs a home.
  30. Play more poker
  31. Learn to stop giggling when I have a great hand.
  32. Try to be nicer.
  33. Give up on Item 32 three days into being 40.
  34. Cook more.
  35. Hire someone to clean up after me when I cook.
  36. Have sex on the beach.
  37. Take down video of sex on the beach from YouTube that some random stranger filmed.
  38. Learn to ski.
  39. Have a grown up party.
  40. Remove all sharp objects from my house before said party.

Alright, 40, you have a lot to do, get to it. Don’t make me lie about having hired you, 39 is just waiting to step up to the plate again.

Welcome aboard!

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  • http://twitter.com/MyPixieBlog My Pixie Blog

    Welcome to 40! I think you have a stellar list there. I have always wanted to have sex on the beach, too, but I hear it’s actually rather uncomfortable and not as glamorous as it seems in the movies. 

    I would also like some more tattoos/piercings. I was recently considering getting my nose done, then remembered I had a giant schnazz and nixed the idea. Maybe on my 40th :)  

  • saurya

    All 40 points indicates something important, it is upto the person in which ways they understand.cook more,have grown up party, lose weight fof passport photo,learn to speak spanish.

    Lots of things are given above which explain many things

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