You’ve heard of Google translator, right? Today, I am going to introduce you to the ‘Amy Translator’. Much like the Google version, I will put in common phrases and then you will get a glimpse of what someone with my crazy brain actually hears when you utter this drivel.
Ready? Great, let’s go.
What I hear:
Live your joy!
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
Quit whining about your dead end job and be glad you get a paycheck, buddy!
What I hear:
Helping others succeed!
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
Couldn’t succeed on my own so now I take your money and tell you how to avoid all the mistakes I made.
What I hear:
Community Builder
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
I tweet a lot.
What I hear:
PR Friendly
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
I wouldn’t dream of writing anything negative, anywhere. Also, I am a swag whore.
What I hear:
Living my passion
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
Trust fund baby.
What I hear:
Brand builder
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
I get paid to talk about products I don’t really care about.
What I hear:
I am influential
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
(Hahahaha, who am I kidding? Nno one believes you when you sprout this shit).
What I hear:
You are such an inspiration.
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
Tell me more about your pain, so I can feel better about my crappy life. Because, hey, at least I’m not you, right?
What I hear:
Mom to missperfectpants and mrhandsomeboy
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
I gave up my identity when I became a mother. I stay at home because I am a white middle-class mom who can afford to do so, but I am going to call it a ‘choice’. I receive validation only through what my kids achieve. Also, I am better parent than you.
What I hear:
Ignoring the haters.
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
I am oblivious to everyone but me.
What I hear:
No matter what anyone says we’re going to make it! I love you [insert current husband here].
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
We will be divorced within a year.
What I hear:
Photographer
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
I got a DSLR for Christmas and now I think that certifies me as someone who should be charging for photos.
What I hear:
Professional Blogger
What it actually means (according to the Amy Translator):
Stay at home mom.
That’s all I could think of for now, but if you have any more phrases that you think sound like maybe they could really be code for something else, don’t hesitate to let me know in the comments.