Mommy bloggers everywhere are angry (GRR!). And no, this time, it’s not about ME. Since this is a post that I will be posting both on my company blog and my personal blog, I will lay out some details. If you already heard it then skip to the next paragraph. Mommy blogging is the ‘in’ thing to do at the moment, and lots of women have taken to the internet to post on their take on parenting, mommy issues, moral dilemmas, days without showers, and so on. I also blog, but I vehemently eschew the mommy blogger moniker for various reasons. A couple of weeks ago a blogging community PR company held an event called ‘Bloggy Bootcamp’  (YES, someone did make up that AWFUL name) in Baltimore. I signed up to go, and though (in the end) it wasn’t my cup of tea, I enjoyed meeting many women who I have interacted with online, either through blog comment sections or on twitter.

At the conference there were some things said that just struck me as all wrong. One- being a mom is hip and trendy right now. Yeah, cause that’s why I have kids- to be trendy. Two- Know your worth. If you are a Stay at home mom, your worth to your family is truly immeasurable, but to companies, mommy bloggers are a dime a dozen. And so on. Again, not my cup of tea, but hey, I get what they are trying to say.

The other portion of this story is that there was a freelance writer doing a piece on mommy blogging for the New York Times. The conference organizer and speakers were understandably excited, press is a good thing, especially at an event costing anywhere between 80-100 bucks per person.The writer spent the day at the conference interviewing bloggers and taking pictures. Then the article came out. The tone of the piece was snarky and condescending, and while a good portion of the ire online is aimed at the writer, women online are in a Battle Royale over the meaning of this article.

I tend to side with the article writer (DESPITE HER AWFUL SHOES) for one reason and one reason only, the amount of giveaways that companies sponsor on the blogs. When you take money for a company to blog about their product, don’t come and complain when you have lost credibility with your readers or your fellow bloggers. One commenter said it was fashionable to beat up on mommy bloggers; maybe it is, and maybe some of it is deserved.

I write four blogs, but the one that I represent when I go to gatherings like these, is my personal blog. And while the talk on the SEO optimization was great, advice on how to get money and promotions out of company made me feel like I was in a gathering of Tupperware reps. I don’t engage with these companies for several reasons 1) As a government contractor, you never know what is a conflict of interest, so it’s best just steer clear altogether, 2) I won’t have my opinion held hostage by a contractual obligation. Example, say I take product to give away but later find that the company I took money from is polluting a river in a small town in Indiana. I want to be able to write really terrible things about that company without having to worry about what it will do to a ‘business’ relationship, and 3) I want to be taken serious as a blogger, having a blog full of giveaways doesn’t allow this (serious BITCH, that is).

So it’s at this point that I would like to put in my requisite disclaimer. I have met some wonderful writers, who just happen to be moms, through these events. I have even met some great mommy bloggers who run event services on the side. Make no mistake that these women are rock stars, and I enjoy being in their group. This is not about them, per se. It’s about all bloggers, and at what point do you stop being a sincere writer and start being a unpaid corporate shill?

One last caveat, I know a couple of bloggers that run review sites. They take products from companies and then post reviews about those products. What makes this different, that is the intent of the blog, to write reviews about products (similar to one of my favorite blogs- Engadget), so again not really in this category.

I am not trying to say that mommy blogging is not credible or that you shouldn’t have sponsors (SHOULD FERRARI WANT TO SPONSOR ME, I AM AVAILABLE). One of my favorite bloggers has a sponsor and does hilarious posts about their products (looking at you marymac). All I am saying, is that you should call a spade a spade, and whether you are trying to sell me Tupperware or Pampered Chef or whether you are blogging about a product for Kraft foods, you are a salesman- not a blogger.

Update: Another one of my favoritest twitter people of all time @pixielation figured out that this is called the Seven Foot Knoll Lighthouse- information here. It STILL DOES NOT make up for that fact that she has beaten about 10 times in the “Words With Friends” app.

I looked online for at least 5 minutes to figure out what this building is, but I couldn’t find it. If you know, please tell me in the comments. Nonetheless, I took this from Pier 5 hotel balcony at bloggy bootcamp last week. This looks out over part of Baltimore’s famed Inner Harbor, more information found here.

Update: Amy from @resourcefulmom called me this morning. We cleared the air. We won’t be best buds anytime soon but I think each of us came away with a new perspective on the whole incident. So I won’t be writing anymore about this, I am just leaving it alone. As most things, its all about what you think the other person was thinking, which usually wasn’t what they were thinking at all. And Amy would like you to know that she is an awesome badass, I have not seen her drink yet, so I cannot confirm this.

If you read my last post, you know that I am now the official black sheep of the mommy blogging world. And I was all good with that until I read this tweet by @resourcefulmom:

So sad to see that a woman is spamming other women & trying to get page views by joining w/ the trash that broke into #bloggybootcamp.

From one of the other nameless sheep came this:

@ResourcefulMom Very sad indeed.

Yeah.

That ‘woman’ is me and the TRASH? That is @guttermagazine. It was all in fun, both on my part and on @guttermagazine’s part. But that has changed. Oh, how it has changed. And now I have to choose sides, or I guess I already did, but this is for ‘resourceful mom’:

Bite me. Sorry if I don’t have cute ribbons and bows and tell the world how my children the most beautiful ever of progeny. Sorry, if I think it is more interesting to read books about coding Java than whether my children have self esteem issues. And for your information- I wasn’t trying to get page views. I got like a hot 3 readers and one of them is my mom.

And another thing- calling @guttermagazine trash just shows why mommy bloggers will be thought of as the grown up version of high school clicks. You don’t do that.

You don’t know me. So BACK THE FUCK UP.

So excuse me for having a successful career, and being awesome, but I’d rather argue with @guttermagazine, then talk play dates with you. Ugh.

For everyone else- the gloves are officially off. I have tried to be nice to both the organization that hosted it and the ladies I met. Like I said before, the vast majority were nice and I WILL NEVER EVER disparage them, their blogs, OR their offspring. But lady, if you want to get down in the mud. BRING. IT. ON.

For @guttermagazine- I will do everything I can to promote your blog, your writings and your events. I will use my social media contacts here and in DC to make sure you are noticed. Just don’t call anyone fat anymore, deal?

Dear Blog Conference Organizer,

Your blog ‘bling’ is silly. I am not putting it on my blog to give you free advertising and take up prime space for that could be spent on ME. I make a PROFESSIONAL looking events page where I tell any interested parties what conferences I will be at, plus I will promote your conference on twitter. For those that want to use it, great- but DO NOT ask me why I am not using it. Keep your pink and blue scrolly thingy, thank you very much.

I went to my first blog conference on Saturday. It was sponsored by an organization called SITS, which stands for the “Secret is in the Sauce.” It is blog community that encourages other bloggers to turn out and support other bloggers by leaving comments, providing links, and all around support for blog writers. The ladies who run it are enthusiastic and will often put on conferences to teach tips and tricks to bloggers, provide networking opportunities, and an all around good time. I chose this smallish conference as my first event as a blogger. It was in Baltimore and many of the bloggers going were ladies I was already interacting with on twitter or on our blogs.

The first sign of trouble came Friday night. Some of the ladies (about 20-25) had gotten together to have dinner, and I went off to join them. Let me say right off the bat, that every person I met was gracious and nice and truly welcoming. But I knew as we went around the table, that I may be the odd duck (ahhh, a feeling I know well). Every lady there stood up to tell the name of their blog and who they were, and as they went around each woman also said how many children they had. Except me. My kids aren’t the reason I blog, and I didn’t bring them up when I introduced myself. The conversation around the table was also centered on children, and I was bored to tears. I figured Saturday would be better, but not so much.

Nonetheless, it was a good time and I got to meet a few great bloggers (who just happen to be mommies). I spent the day as I do most days, on twitter- in this case live twittering the conference and it wasn’t long before we had a ‘hater’ on our feed. What happened next is best captured by the so-called hater himself: http://bit.ly/9Hhyco

I enjoyed tweeting with him, and will take up any chance to poke fun- EVEN IF I AM PART OF THE GROUP. We may have differnt points of view of what belongs on line and what doesn’t, and we also disagree on whether ’fat’ is an appropriate tweet at any time (c’mon that just mean). But you should NEVER EVER take yourself so seriously that you cannot make fun of who you are or what you are doing. This to  me is the biggest pitfall of being a mommyblogger. You are naturally sensative and protective of what you are writing about, so any nose-tweaking will set you off.

I can feel the disapproving looks from here. I shall do my best to get over it.

So lesson learned, some ladies can’t take a joke. And appartently my penchant for causing trouble has not waned in my later 30′s. Heh.

Last night I went to a dinner for the Baltimore Bloggy Boot Camp. A GREAT time was had by all! Here are a couple of shots from dinner (more photos can be found here)-

No, I don’t think we have. You may know who I am, you follow me on twitter, and sometimes you even leave comments on my blog. Thank you for that. Oh, you blog too? I think I remember looking at your blog. Seemed like a good job, not my kind of thing, but I’m here to encourage all the people I can. What was wrong with it? Nothing. It’s like every other mommy blog I’ve read. Yes, your kids are cute and yes, kids are funny- but nothing earthshaking. Now, some of my regular readers are kick-ass mommy bloggers. I highly recommend you read their blog to see how it’s done. What’s that you said? Your children are angels, and you home-school, and make crafts for the needy in your spare time? Yeah? Well, in my spare time I check out which mental hospital / old folks home will take a thirty something mother of three…oops make that two kids and a husband who seems very young sometimes.

You what now? You unfollowed me on twitter? Well, it happens. No, I don’t want to know why. OK…tell me anyway. Offensive? Me? Hell, yeah, I’m offensive. How long did it take you to figure that out? I see that you thought I was a peer, another mommy blogger. To tell you the truth, I HATE that term. Yep, I have kids and, yes, I will exploit them mercilessly for material for this blog, but I don’t want to be mommy blogger. Why? Well, kids grow up and the material will get less interesting. Also, I am a little less inclined to pick on my children then I am say…you. One more reason, I have opinions on just about everything, so why not write about everything.

Apparently, you have a bone to pick with me, so let’s hear it. No, wait…let me guess, you didn’t like my Jesus comment. Technically, Elton John said it first. People were ganging up on him, and I thought that the comment deserved some support. Maybe Jesus WAS gay, who knows? No one- that’s who. I am TOTALLY sure that offends every conservative, religious bone in your body, and that brings me joy. No, no I am not trying to insult you, that is just a pleasant by-product. I think all religions are around to be made fun of, and yours DOES NOT GET A FREE PASS. Did you read that recent study that said that the more religious a person was, the more brain damage they had. Hey, I can’t make this stuff up.

So, maybe Jesus was gay, and maybe Elton John is douche, but more importantly, I think that almost everything is open to ridicule and that is where my true skill is. So now you know, so do the unfollow or the unfriend or whatever, and let me get on with what I was doing. For the rest of you, I don’t know you either, but you seem pretty cool…let’s go get a margarita.