I took Oreo to a dog park this weekend. This picture shows some of the mayhem involved. A note- Oreo looks a little unsure in this photo, in fact, he was trying to scout out a place for him to sniff.

Remember when I was all about my ‘Soul Bowl’? Yeah, now that I am working from home and spend most of my days sitting at my kitchen table working from my laptop, this is now my view. Awesome.

Venus has a protector.

We have a new addition to our home. An eight-week old kitten that we have named Venus. Or as I like to call her More-shit-for-me-to-take-care-of. There are a TON of photos here.

You may know my cat Cookie, who I’ve written about here, here, and featured here? That  little ball of fuzz that doesn’t even meow, she squeaks- that is how cute this cat is.  The other night, Cookie brings me a gift. A cute baby bunny IN THE THROES OF DEATH CLUTCHED IN HER TEETH. Right to the screen door, not even kidding. So I did want any animal lover would do- I shooed her away and yelled at her to eat it somewhere else. Which immediately caused her to put the (STILL ALIVE) twitching bunny down by my door and walk around for a few minutes. Every watch a cute helpless baby bunny die slowly, yeah, well, it wasn’t on my to-do list either.

Finally (FINALLY) she picked the bunny back up and carried it out of sight. Next morning, I was informed that all that was left were some legs and backend. I don’t know how this 6lb. cat eats all that, but, still…ewww.

Since my separation/divorce, I have not missed having a man around the house too much. Except for right that moment.

I say again….ewww.

Two minutes later, they were fighting- honest.

Look, you want to rent your overpriced townhouse and I got cash. See how we fit together here? Don’t tell me you don’t want to rent to me because of my black lab. Here are the things I have heard you say and my responses:

1) Pets age a house. Noooo, age ages a house, having renters move in and out ages a house. My dog lays on the floor. I don’t see the connection.

2) You only want small dogs. WTF?! Have you seen the damage small dogs can do? It disproportional to their size. You have confused cuteness with appropriateness for you home. Stop it, it’s stupid.

3) You want an extra deposit. I’ll pay it, but just know that the deposit should be higher for every person you rent to that has a teenage boy. Have you seen the wreckage they can bring? It’s freakin’ amazing.

Rent me your house, you’re probably broke from paying the mortgage every month it sits empty. And, unfortunately for you, there isn’t a tax break for stupidity.