Video blogging (or vlogging as it has become known) is supposed to be the next big thing in blogging. I am here to beg you, on my knees, to stop. Please just stop.

Writing and spoken word are two incredibly different animals, and if there are very few people who can write well, there a damn site fewer who can do spoken word well.

This is what all the vlogs I have seen consist of;

Blogger in front of low quality camera (phone or webcam) speaking out a blog post that would have normally been written. Between the ‘ums’ and ‘sos’ is a piece, so poorly executed that most of the women doing it would not have even hit the publish button on that post, were it written. They have no script, no quality video, no reason to sit in front of a camera and talk except that it takes the place of actually having to write.

They aren’t amusing, they aren’t little peeks inside your life, their are cringe-worthy fests of crap. You are bloggers, writers – not a television personality. It isn’t as great as you think it is.

There are some great ways to do vlogs,; write a script, practice, dress-up, use camera appropriate make-up, do more than one take, edit the video, etc. etc. But no one is doing that, and, in the end, you all look lazy.

Thinking about doing a vlog? Please, in the name of all that is holy, write your words.

Imagine my delight when I found out Wegman’s had Indian food. I nearly wept with joy. I think I ate curry at least once week until…well, I am still doing it.

One day I go there, trot up to the Indian food section and what do they have?

Beef Curry.

Beef. Really, y’all?

Let’s just go ahead and ruin Indian food, insult their culture and religion, and seem ignorant at the same time.

Indians do not eat beef, cows are sacred to them. Therefore, you do not make Beef Curry,

End of story. No ‘but I like beef’ or ‘it’s not my culutre’ or ‘I once had an Indian friend and she didn’t mind’.

Just. NO.

I am the fat chick

Which reminds me of this fantastic image from Pinterest. (please disregard the misspelling of lose, it irked me too)

Pinterest Rage

The top comment says it all: “When I first saw the title of this song, I was expecting it to be a stupid, stereotypical song mocking gays… instead, I got this incredibly deep, beautiful song about love. “I’ll love you still in hell” is the line that gets me the most.”

Now, I love my pets. Well, 3/4 of them anyway. (WHAT?! One of them keeps peeing on the carpet, judgy mcjudgerson! He needs to go to cat heaven.) Like I was saying- love my pets, but none of them rate Gushy food. My daughter disagrees. She loves buying the wet food for the cats. And they love her for being a sucker.

And the dog? Well, he just wants a piece of action.

Our first mistake was to buy the food in the little packets. Oreo would get the empties out of the trash and gnaw them trying to get a taste. Then he moved up to getting the full ones and gnawing on those. Mmmm, tin foil flavored cat food.

Whatever. I got your number dog.

Next up we bought the cans. Remember how I complained about stepping on Legos? Yeah, those are nothing compared to cat food cans. Oreo slinks downstairs (in the middle of the night), gets a can and carries it around in his mouth. He doesn’t make a mess. He can’t chew the can open. But he carries that unopened can in his mouth as if to say, ‘Bitch, I am two opposable thumbs away from DINNER TIME.) So now instead of Legos all around the house, I have cat food cans from the top floor to the basement.

Next up, cat food cans full of Legos.