The Discovery Channel and it’s affiliate channels MUST have daily television programs at prime time slots based on Daniel Quinn’s “My Ishmael” pages 207-212 where solutions to save the planet…A game show format contest would be in order. MAKE IT INTERESTING SO PEOPLE WATCH AND APPLY SOLUTIONS!!!!

Look, dude I’ve watched some of that TV TLC puts out on the air too. I get it makes you crazy, but, trust me, we don’t need another game show. And no amount of ammo you got is making me watch Kate plus 8.

All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth….In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed.

This seems a little extreme to most of you, but I get his point. I mean Heidi Montag is still fertile! What if she reproduces?! Clearly he didn’t mean the rest of us. My children are awesome.

All programs promoting War and the technology behind those must cease.

True dat. I can only watch Band of Brothers, three, four more times- tops.

Civilization must be exposed for the filth it is.

This guy is WORKING on it, watch his commercial. Give him some time to work his magic. Helllooo ladies.

Immigration: Programs must be developed to find solutions to stopping ALL immigration pollution and the anchor baby filth that follows that. Find solutions to stopping it.

The native americans have been saying this for YEARS. Holy hell, it’s about time all these white people got the hell outta here.

Find solutions for Global Warming, Automotive pollution, International Trade, factory pollution, and the whole blasted human economy.

Yeah, cause let’s move to a bear-based economy. Um….can someone tell me how that works? Do we pay each other in salmon?

Develop shows that will correct and dismantle the dangerous US world economy.

Develop shows that will dismantle the US economy? Are you not watching Jersey Shore?!

For every human born, ACRES of wildlife forests must be turned into farmland in order to feed that new addition over the course of 60 to 100 YEARS of that new human’s lifespan! THIS IS AT THE EXPENSE OF THE FOREST CREATURES!!!!

Anyone else get the feeling that this guy was REALLY upset that Bambi’s mother got shot?

NO MORE BABIES!

I think I speak for everyone when I say we are more than happy that you won’t be breeding.

Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels.

Save the squirrels! Now THAT is a rallying cry.

The humans? The planet does not need humans.

Well, it doesn’t need certain KIND of humans. Maybe ones that walk into workplaces with guns?? Hmmmm?

These are the demands and sayings of Lee.

Fuck you, asshole.

Dear Earl- Seriously?! You’re an asshole. The End.

P.S.- This is for you:

My kids are headed back to school. My joy and anticipation cannot be overstated. But I would be remiss if I did not point out the obvious, so here it is In-Charge Person: “WHY ARE WE LETTING KIDS OUT FOR SUMMER FOR 2-3 MONTHS?!?!” It’s RIDICULOUS.

The current school calendar was developed when the United States was still primarily an agrarian society. I don’t know about you, but I don’t FARM. I don’t even know anyone who DOES farm. So, thanks, but no thanks, I do not need my children home to help with the crops.

Essentially, summer is one big headache for me. Many days, if I manage to be home from work, it’s too hot to do anything. Maybe you think camp would be a good experience for my kids? I agree. Want to pay for it? Sleep aways camps starts at $300 a week and only go up dramatically from there. As a single parent, that is out of my reach. We aren’t doing a whole bunch of vacationing either. There is no summer house in the Hamptons, no grandparents to visit for a extended period of time. Vacationing is too expensive and extended visits lead to homicide.

How about we restructure our school calendar to reflect our change in societal structure? We are now a post-industrial society, and that fact every year for 10-12 weeks I  am required to shift around every one’s schedule because 100 years ago, most families needed their kids home to farm, is just wrong.

Let’s move to year-round schools, or the “9 weeks on 3 weeks off” structure.

Because honestly? These kids are on my damn nerves.

(Honestly, I do believe in year round schools, but to be fair here is an article that has both the pros and cons.)

I was at an event last night in downtown Baltimore. Here is a shot of N Charles Street facing the back of the Washington Monument.

Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office.

Yes, you read that right. You may think I am making this up, but I don’t make stuff up. On Tuesdays. This exalted position was first held by a cat named Treasury Bill. Unfortunate moniker aside, he did his job so well, that he was replaced by Peter. And Peter was replaced by…well, you can look at the list yourself.

Sybil, the last cat left 10 Downing Street in 2009, reportedly to live out his retirement in the lap of luxury. But, now….NOW? There’s no one! How does this country function each and every day? I get that whole British ‘stiff upper lip’ thing and all, but this goes beyond the pale. And it is a situation that MUST be rectified.

In case you didn’t know, the Prime Minister is off cooing over his new baby. What kind of man goes off to celebrate the addition of his houseold when he knows his country is on the brink. Listen, Mr. Brown, even now as we speak the  mice are planning and plotting. It could be ANY DAY NOW. I implore you to ACT NOW!

Rumor has it that the Queen is not pleased, but sources could not confirm that before press time.

My good readers, keep the UK and its shoddy, broken government in your thoughts. They need all the support they can get.

P.S. I have a killer cat that would be perfect for job, and she might even overlook your funny accents.

P.P.S. – I have outfitted a box for the cat with plenty of airholes (don’t need PETA after me, y’all) now, just tell where to send it to?

P.P.P.S- I’m a giver.

P.P.P.P.S.- Hurry up with the address, she’s biting through the box.

OK, it should have been ‘over’ not ‘off’, but you get the idea. So many people were like “I know!” that I had to make this (this is for you Hoda, just know that every day we go off to work we say to ourselves- “At least we don’t work with Kathie Lee”, way to take one for the team, Hoda.)