I know this will come as a shock to you but I read a lot of blogs. If you follow me on twitter you know that there are some great bloggers out there that I follow religiously. There are always waves of subjects that go around and then other blogs pick up on it. The current theme making the rounds is “Let’s all get along”. It’s not a new premise, and usually goes like this “We are all women, all different, let’s support each other, not tear each other down.”

Bitch, I am not your sister.

Let’s support each other? We’re adults. That ‘everyone gets a trophy’ crap is gone. Put on your big girl panties and realize sometimes you suck. And I don’t have the patience or ability to dissemble like most people, so I’m going to tell you that you suck. If you think that’s ‘tearing you down’, so be it. I am sick and tired of women who complain about other women ‘not supporting them’. If you’re not out there busting your ass every day, you don’t get a break.

I guess I must be wired differently. I don’t know. But I do know this, I do not have infinite amount of love (or like for that matter) and most of that love is used up on my children. That leaves a tiny amount for every day bullshit. I am certainly not using it up on your sudden desire to make peace with every women out there.

Last, I will cut a bitch. If you and I are competing, we are competing. You can bet I’m not running for Miss Congeniality, I competing to win, to get the job, to be noticed, to be heard – and I don’t play nice. Now, if I don’t have a dog in the fight I’m all for supporting the woman. Me? Never going to be Secretary of State so, hells yeah, give it to a woman. Men have screwed it up long enough. Competing for blogging space? Oh, it is on.

Want to join around the ‘campfire’ and sing kumbaya? Great, have fun. Want to be success? Then remember there are women like me, and bring your A game. You’re going to need it.

(Look, I TOLD you the bitchfest was resuming. And this isn’t in response to anything in particular that happened to me lately, I just HATE false sincerity. That’s what these ‘let’s get along’ posts are.)

I didn’t actually do anything on the internet this week. I’ve been busy. But I found some other awesome stuff for you:

First, some parenting advice:

Also:

Clearly, I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.

Safe workplaces are important.

Let me ruin Twilight for you.

And the war in Iraq.

And, last….here waste hours of your time.

Life is busy, and I’m easily distracted by bright shiny objects. Remember that dog from Up, who couldn’t complete a sentence with sensing a squirrel. That’s me, trying to write ANYTHING. And, of course, everything stops while I chase said squirrel.

(I just answered four tweets during the line break).

I have been trying to expand my writing by doing some ACTUAL writing. For respected publications and stuff. (Note: editors do not like it when you end a sentence with ‘and stuff’). I expected it to be a piece of cake. I mean you all come and read and I don’t hear any complaints from you. And not just because you know I would slap the taste out of your mouth if you actually tried to complain. Nope, it’s love. I can feeeeeeeell it.

(I just watched an episode of Burn Notice during that line break).

Turns out, I am not a good writer. Apparently there is a difference between writing a blog and writing for a publication. Even for the web portion of the publication. And on top of that, they have the NERVE to demand deadlines. I KNOW, who ARE these people, right? Don’t even get me started on the ‘you have to write in AP style’ crap. Nightmare, utter nightmare.

What am I doing wrong? I have no earthly idea. That’s not true, they are being super nice and trying to ‘develop’ my writing style. Mildly related: Develop has an alternate meaning- Putting up with your shit until you get it together.

Who knew I was such a bad writer? And so boring?

Stay tuned. Now to distract from my awful writing, here’s a picture of my kitten.

SQUIRREL!

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I get around, but in a good way. I know lots of sites have wrap-up posts at the end of the week. Well, here’s one at the beginning of the week. Mainly because I’m busy getting ready for BlogWorld (Where I’m staying at the Social Media Clubhouse 4! HOLLAH!). If you’re going make sure to find me:

Other places I have stopped by:

For those that don’t know I write for the Washington Time Communities.

Here are two recent posts; a post on posing stripped down, and another on too much pink.

I also write a book blog for GovLoop. I recently reviewed The Big Short (shorthand: Buy it, it’s a good book). The also featured me as ‘member of the week’. Have a read and find out more about what I do 9-5.

On my Social Pollen site I wrote about my take on the Thesis theme.

If you’re in the Baltimore area, we have a killer line-up for the Women in Social Media Event.

And, of course, my calendar site continues to be AWESOME!

Here are some things I love this week:

• Mustache Man Revealed!
• I tried this new social sharing app and loved it.
• I learned why I love October.

And there were these two videos which I have watched continuously for the whole week.

And this one:

And last I remembered the vital public service I perform:

And that’s it for my first wrap-up post. Tell me whether you hate or love it!

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Really…

I wasn’t.

It’s no secret that I hated BlogHer, that I left early, that I didn’t….fit in.

It’s true. I didn’t want to admit that, I didn’t want to be upset by it. I want to move on. But I can’t write anything until I write this post. Nothing else will come to mind.

So I vowed to change, to be more likable, to be less me. Smile more, chat more, pretend to be interested more.

And then I know if I do that, I would never write again. Not. A. Single. Word.

To realize that I was a NOT- not ‘part’ of the group, not invited when other bloggers I knew got together, not in the right place- cut me to the core.

Where does that leave me? The same place I have always been. On the outside looking in, on the periphery.

There are people that I finally got to meet in NY that I loved, and will go out of my way to meet again. Others I had been dying to meet, but a few seconds with them was more than I needed to realize that they were not for me.

I couldn’t find my mojo, my verve, my awesomeness.

This is the part where I vow never to set foot in BlogHer again. Except I can’t. Cause I might.

I’m hardcore like that.

Just heard today that they are making a reality show about Mommy Bloggers, and appartently they are going to be ‘casting’ while at BlogHer in couple of weeks. Now you just know I’ve got some issues with this. Let me spell them out for you:

1) Again, it’s that stereotype that if you are a female and a blogger then the only way to get noticed is to be a Mommy Blogger. What a crock of shite. Too many female bloggers are getting pushed to the side because they choose not write about their progeny’s latest/ cutest/ bestest first step/ first haircut/ first step/ breastfeeding. I don’t have anything against MommyBloggers, but for THE LOVE OF PETE, can we reconginze that there are lots of great female bloggers out there, doing all kinds of blogging- instead of focusing on this ONE clique. Ugh. Double ugh.

2) Ever been around Mommy Bloggers? They are like sharks in the water when they smell blood. You think the Real Housewives series women are vicious? You haven’t seen ANYTHING. Is this REALLY the face we want for bloggers? I know tons of  bloggers: mommy, daddy, techie, sex, etc. They are all wonderful and drama-free. Think those will be the type chosen for this series? THINK AGAIN.

3) Will they be chosen for their writing ability or their selling ability? Hey, just asking.

Stand by for LOTS of snark, complaints, and insights into this little slice of heaven.

I spend my entire life unprepared. Unprepared for the next day, unprepared to write my next post, unprepared to give a damn. You name it, I am winging it.  Hey, it keeps everyone on their toes. This is a totally normal conversation for me:

“What?! We have a meeting today? WHY DIDN”T YOU TELL ME?”

“You did? When?”

“That long ago…huh.”

“Oh look, here it is on my calendar.”

“Of course I’m prepared, I am INSULTED and HURT that you would think otherwise.”

And then my co-worker decides that she needs a drink, and I assure that her that, yes, there is a bar open at 10:30 a.m.

But today was even worse than usual. I have this BIG project going on, something that started off small and then just blew up.  And a big name blogger was supposed to come by my blog to have a look at the project info. UNPREPARED!!!

I hadn’t blogged in days, at least not here. I have actually pushed out seven posts since this weekend, but all for other projects. I was having serious writer’s block for my baby. I GOT NOTHIN’ y’all.

So in its place I put this disclaimer: THIS IS TOTALLY A MCGYVER POST PULLED OUT OF MY ASS TO PROVE THAT I DO BLOG…..sometimes.